Mix: Please Papa Bear

[erinptah]

Medium: Mix
Title: Please Papa Bear
Rating: Soft R
Warnings: Bill O'Reilly. Sexual situations. Sexual situations featuring Bill O'Reilly. Also, some lyrics involve non-con. (The actual situation was by all accounts consensual, just very exploitative.)
Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. Although reference is made to real persons, the content is the product of the mixer's imagination only.

Notes: The normally combative Stephen will bend over backwards in his fight to earn the affection of the man he loves and fears above all others.

As such, this is a pretty depressing mix.






01 . george michael . father figure (o'reilly, in stephen's mind)
"O'Reilly? A legend. I call him Papa Bear."

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher, teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time


02 . john tesh & point of grace . who am i? (stephen adores from afar)
"What an honor to have been 'just tolerated' by Bill O'Reilly!"

Though at times it's just enough to cast
A shadow on the wall
Well I am grateful that you shine
Your light on me at all

Who am I
That you would love me so gently?
Who am I
That you would recognize my name?


03 . animotion . obsession (stephen, on the factor)
"Bill, I'm whoever you want me to be."

I feed you I drink you
My day and my night
I need you I need you
By sun or candlelight...

You are an obsession
You're my obsession
Who do you want me to be
To make you sleep with me?


04 . matchbook romance . stay tonight (stephen, right before the report)
"I get to open the last door on my Bill O'Reilly Advent Calendar!"

Forty-nine hours and forty-six minutes to go
I was counting, I just thought I'd let you know...

You can stay tonight
And make everything all right
You can hold me down
And tell me that you're right
Tell me what it's like to be alone


05 . nina gordon . now i can die (stephen, delighted, opens the historic report)
"Mission Accomplished!"

I am the girl, and he is the guy
I never dare to be simple and wise
Surprise, surprise
He opened up my eyes
I understand everything, and now I can die


06 . relient k . those words are not enough (stephen and his guest)
"I wise up because I sit at the foot of the master. Instruct me."

I lay my life before you
And I'm not getting up
Father, how I adore you
Those words are not enough


07 . nine inch nails . the only time (stephen, at dinner, makes an offer)
"Bill, there's nothing wrong for one man saying to a man he admires, you’re damn handsome, and with a gun to my head, sure."

I'm drunk
And right now I'm so in love with you.
And I don't want to think too much about what we should or shouldn't do
Lay my hands on heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars
While the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car...

Maybe I'm all messed up
This is the only time I really feel alive


08 . bif naked . religion (stephen, during)
"I'm not a secular progressive, sir. I'm a deeply religious man who will do anything you say."

I am naked
Before you
Look at me
You came for me
I pray to you
You are in me

You are my religion
You are my religion
I'm loving you
You're loving me...

Intoxicated with your breath
My eyes close, I am a mess
Starving and cold and I need your love


09 . kansas . song for america (stephen loses his innocence)
"Stephen Colbert is America."
—from the jacket of I Am America (And So Can You!)

So the maiden lies in waiting
For the sails to reach the shore
Land of beauty and abundance
Innocent, you opened wide your door...

Ravage, plunder, see no wonder
Rape and kill and tear asunder
Chop the forest, plow it under


10 . the magnetic fields . i thought you were my boyfriend (stephen read too much into it)
"We talked, we went to dinner . . . I thought we made a connection. The whole thing felt very organic!"

You told me you loved me
I know where and when
Come sunrise, surprise surprise
The joke's on me again...

I thought I was just the guy for you and it would never end
I thought we were s'posed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend


11 . maria mena . nevermind me (stephen deflated)
"Well, now I feel like a fool..."

Just tell me how you want me
And I'll be naked stumbling
Just to get a reaction
Any signs of love

Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just cast shadows on your walls
Nevermind me, nevermind me
My God, I feel so small...

Bottle up your smile
Pour it in a cup
Yeah, I'll be on my way
Once I've sobered up


12 . regina spektor . hero (stephen, after, in pieces, in denial)
"Moving on!"

And the TVs try to rape us
And I guess that they're succeeding
And we're going to these meetings
But we're not doing any meeting
And we're trying to be faithful
But we're cheating, cheating, cheating

Hey, open wide, here comes original sin...

I'm the hero of the story, don't need to be saved


13 . jewel . daddy (stephen is left angry, confused, and tired)
"If you're an act, then what am I?"

You know, sometimes I want to rip out your throat, Daddy
For all those things you said that were mean
Gonna make you just as vulnerable as I was, Daddy
What's that say about me?...

I'm gonna rip your heart out the way that you did mine, Daddy
Go ahead and psycho-analyze that


14 . the dollyrots . because i'm awesome (stephen's gonna be okay. the nation cheers him on.)
"F%#k you old man! I would like to see you do this for 30 seconds! Your withered old frame would snap!"

"I always tell you how cool you dress."
It’s cause I’m fashionably socialized!
"You’re smarter, better, no, the best!"
Just look at me!

I’m a leader
I’m a winner
And I’m cleaner
'Cause I’m awesome!
I don’t need you
'Cause I’m neato
And I beat you
'Cause I’m awesome!
That’s right!


bonus track . dirty dancing . (i've had) the time of your life
The real Stephen's answer to the question, "If you could ballroom dance with Bill O'Reilly to one song, what would it be?"

'Cause I had the time of my life
No I've never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you



The total package.