erinptah: (rainbow)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Or Perhaps Pleasure
Rating: R
Contents: Canon-typical (cartoony) violence, weird sexual situations
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Jon's back from the Middle East!...and he came back wrong. As the embodiment of all that is American, it's up to Stephen to come to the rescue. The sexy, sexy rescue.

(On top of all the other innuendo in that clip, one of the things Stephen yells while behind the door actually is "Say you love me!" Ah, romance.)

Mirror on the AO3.

( The hazmat suit sizzles where the lightsaber clips him in the side, but doesn't let it through. American engineering at its finest! )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Ten reasons for the sleep loss after Jon knocked Stephen up (6-10)
Rating: R
Contents: Alpha/Beta/Omega and related consent issues, mpreg
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Dan Savage, babies
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Previously, in this Omegaverse continuity: installment 1, installment 2, reasons 1-5 (whole series on the AO3).

And then there was babyfic. Featuring name help and other advice from [personal profile] politicette.

( 'I'm only allowing this because you're gay,' Stephen said haltingly as Dan knelt in front of him to get up-close and personal with Eleanor/Benjamin. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Enfranchise-Me Pumps
Rating: R
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Jessica, Wyatt
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

The aftermath of Democalpyse 2012. Jessica unwinds, "Stephen" is a wreck for unexpected reasons, and Jon's getting lucky tonight in more ways than one. (AO3 mirror.)

( 'And you people really do this every two years?' )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: And Dried Up All The Rain
Rating: Soft R
Contents: Sex, particularly fail!sex
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Sam, others
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Stephen opens up to the world about his relationship with Jon! And he's still fighting his sexuality every step of the way.

For the [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic summer fic exchange, prompt: Ace!"Stephen"/Jon. Jon gives up a lot to make his relationship work with Stephen. Shouldn't Stephen do the same thing for him? Prefer to have a classic "Stephen" breakdown/crying scene. Angsty or comedic. Also for my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "hugs".

( Jon also did not need to know that Stephen was comparing him to ice cream and finding him wanting. There was no way that would go over well. )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Little Red State Parka With Hood And Gloves
Rating: Soft R
Contents: Person-with-animal-characteristics!kink, light voyeurism, a gun chase
Characters/pairings: Wolf!Jon/"Stephen", Willard Mittington "Romney" Romney, bird!Olivia/pie, Sarah Palin
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

I retconned part of Little Red State Riding Hood, so now the Wolf does actually eat the Candidate instead of having him put on a bus. Which leaves him with this whole empty mansion to hang out in. Stephen sticks around, too, because he is weak for a small fuzzy person in a suit. (Illustrations here!)

And then there is some adventure in which Olivia tweets, Jon gets shot at from a helicopter, and Stephen comes to the rescue.

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "forced to rely on enemy/rival." (A wolf relying on creatures who might under other circumstances have been wolf chow totally counts.)

( And sure, Jon ate actual humans once in a while, but everyone had their flaws. Why, Stephen's own dearly-deceased Candidate had killed lots of people in his day (if by 'people' you meant 'corporations', which Stephen did). )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: These Winds And Tides
Rating: R
Characters/pairings: Established Jon/"Stephen", "Stephen"/OC
Contents: Non-con, victim-self-blaming
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Working off of a kink meme prompt. While in an established relationship, Stephen is assaulted by a third party. He's convinced he can't tell Jon — that Jon will see him as unfaithful, or blame him for letting it happen. (Spoiler alert: Jon won't.)

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, either "humiliation" or "job-related trauma". Title is from U2's "Drowning Man".

( Some things came easily. Stephen already considered himself entitled to chocolate and flowers on Valentine's Day, for instance, so Jon had an easy adjustment there. )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Homecoming Queens
Rating: Soft R
Contents: Homophobia, D/s, iceplay, allusions to domestic violence
Characters/pairings: Jon/liberal!Stephen, Stephen's fictional family
Beta credit: [personal profile] politicette
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

IT'S DONE.

The liberal AU version of "Stephen" brings his queer kinky Jewish boyfriend to a Fourth of July barbecue with his old-fashioned Southern Evangelicatholic Republican family. Hijinks ensue.

This is unrelated to previous connected liberal!Stephen stories: it's post-divorce for Jon, a wifeless AU for Stephen, with them in an established relationship featuring BDSM using stoplight safewords.

And seriously, having it finished is a minor miracle. This poor fic has been a WIP since 2009. The It Gets Better Project, same-sex marriage laws in New York, and Anderson Cooper all came out while it was in progress.

Also goes in my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, for the prompt "heat stroke." Major much-belated thanks to [profile] ladyanneboleyn and [personal profile] politicette, who made this story possible by being willing to educate me about their culture.

( 'Jon, I know my family isn't the most progressive group of people in the world, but if just for today you can be tolerant and nonjudgmental of their intolerance and judgment, we can have a not-terrible time.' )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: It's What Lincoln Would Have AU'd
Rating: through R
Characters/pairings: Wyatt, Jessica, Jon/"Stephen", Olivia/Kristen, correspondents and others
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Fake-news entries from a meme: Write a given character or pairing starring in ten AU settings: Wild West, Cyberpunk, Shapeshifters, Pirates, In SPACE!!, Born Another Gender, Schoolfic, Police/Firefighters, Urban Fantasy, Harem.

Most of these stand alone, although the three harem-AU segments all take place in the same continuity.

( Wyatt & Jessica | Jon/"Stephen" | Olivia/Kristen )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Maxim's Finest
Rating: R (vague sex, one NSFW image)
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia(/Kristen)
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A ficlet in honor of both Stephen and Olivia Munn making the Maxim Top 100. Mostly in text-message format.

( THE SEXIEST OF ALL THE PLACES OBVIOUSLY )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Spell Me Once, Shame On You
Fandoms: Fake News/Harry Potter
Cast: Jon/"Stephen" (with a dash of Olivia)
Rating: R
Warnings: Non-con by magic, (skip) or so it seems

Stephen Colbert, Gryffindor fifth-year, sneaks a totally guaranteed black-market love potion into Jon's lunch. Part of its guarantee is that if it's not countered by the antidote potion within under an hour, the effects will be permanent. Oh, and, turns out it's really more of a lust potion. Possibly Stephen should have thought this one through a little more.

For my April mini-challenge card in [community profile] hc_bingo, prompt "accidental mating for life." Characters' houses and wands are those described in Fake News Quidditch Rumble.

( He didn't see blood purity, of course, but people told him he was from an old and respected wizarding family, and he believed it because he didn't understand the point of trousers. )
erinptah: (winding road)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Stone By Stone
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen"/Bill O'Reilly, "Stephen"/OMC, Liz/Jack, "Stephen"/Liz, various FOX cameos
Warnings: Slavefic, associated abuse (sexual and otherwise), (skip) non-con, non-main character death
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report and the creators of 30 Rock. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. With apologies to everyone involved, especially Tina Fey.

A prequel one-shot for the Castle Down 'verse, which for some reason turned into a 30 Rock crossover. Scenes from Stephen's life in Vulpis before the war, and his doomed friendship with one of the other "pets" he got to know there.

Refers to the Wørd "Bite The Hand That Feeds You", which unwittingly provided this universe a bit of backstory. Other references: the O'Reilly tartan; the Megyn Kelly meme. Title is another lyric from the Emilie Autumn song.

( 'I'm on a very important mission for General Bill O'Reilly, and you are infringing on his right to have me walk here!' )
erinptah: (waldo-carmen)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: The Rescue of Stevie Jane (3/3)
Cast: "Stephen"/Jon
Rating: soft-R
Contents: Webbing-based innuendo
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A balcony-based happy ending! Spider-Jon must leave (hey, nobody said heroics would be easy), but Stevie Jane doesn't want him to go without some kind of thanks....

( Read on dA ) Read on DW )
erinptah: (You Are Not Alone)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Five Times Stephen Got A Green Light
Rating: R
Contents: Sex, D/s, forced femme, bondage, post-roleplay aftercare, language
Characters/pairings: Liberal!"Stephen"/Jon
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Fic from TCR's liberal mirrorverse. In which Stephen is still not quite comfortable with kinking on being a Dom, and Jon provides constant reassurance via the stoplight-based safeword system.

This poor fic has been languishing half-finished for aaaaaages, until a certain recent sequence made it fall into place.

( Stephen drops both the half-tied knot around Jon's ankle and the heavy bondage manual he had been consulting while tying it. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Needs Met, page 15
Rating: Soft R
Characters/Pairings: Jon/c!Stephen/l!Stephen/Jon
Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. Although reference is made to real persons, the dialogue, actions, and content are products of the artist's imagination only.

There will be more crossovers from this multiverse one day - it has too much potential not to return to.

But, for the moment, happy endings all around.

'I've brought the tie for his hands, sir.' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Needs Met, page 03
Rating: R (naked chibis, bondage, off-panel sex)
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen"/Jon, l!"Stephen"/Jon, l!"Stephen"/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. Although reference is made to real persons, the dialogue, actions, and content are products of the artist's imagination only.

I'm afraid this is one of those stories where the kinky sex is just a flimsy excuse to get to the plot.

'On second thought, I don't think you've done enough begging.' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Lesbians, Explained
Rating: R
Warnings: Women in sexual situations.
Characters/Pairings: Joan/"Stephanie"

In which Stephanie Colbert explains why lesbians don't exist.

'They're like unicorns. Or fiscally responsible Democrats.' )

Anonymous

Sep. 2nd, 2009 12:36 am
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Anonymous
Rating: R
Contents: Sex, violence, humiliation
Characters/pairings: "Stephen"/???, "Stephen"/Jon
Disclaimer: Follow the fake cut.

Summary: This was inspired by a fic snippet, which I am pretty sure was by [livejournal.com profile] sarcasticsra, and which is lost somewhere in the depths of past Open Threads. The general premise: "Stephen" is living with Jon, but still has this compulsive, self-destructive need to sneak off and have tawdry sex with nameless men in bars.

So, being the cheerful and upbeat writer I am, I decided to write fixit fic!

...No, really. Stop laughing.

(It looks bad at first, but it gets fixed in the end, I swear.)

( 'He has no idea I'm here. I shouldn't....' )

Silky

Aug. 5th, 2009 09:51 pm
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Silky
Series: TDS/TCR
Rating: R
Warnings: Spontaneous kinky puppy-play sex.
Disclaimer: Follow the fake cut.

Summary: A sequel to Firm Haunches, inspired by this macro (and the accompanying segment). Post-taping of the Tom Hanks segment, but pre-Operation-Iraqi-Stephen (so the hair is still there). There are accompanying sketches, if you're in the mood for visuals.

Also, this got a lot longer, and a lot pornier, than I expected.

( There could be no doubt that the little red dish was a dog bowl. The thing was spotted with pale-yellow pawprints, for crying out loud. )

Grieving

Apr. 29th, 2009 08:54 pm
erinptah: (touko hug)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Grieving
Series: TDS/TCR
Rating: R (sex; character death)
Disclaimer: Follow the link.

Notes: Most stories free up these characters for pairing in easy ways, through quiet divorces or wife-free AUs (when they don't just embrace polyamory, of course). You can also throw in a messy divorce, for extra angst value. And, uh, then there's this option.

I believe [livejournal.com profile] kahvi is to blame for giving me the idea.

(It should go without saying that it would be horrible if anything like this actually happened. Knock wood. Also, story is locked; comment or add the fic journal to be added.)

( 'Stewart, maybe you get understandably confused about this when you look in the mirror, but you're too young to retire!' )
erinptah: (unitarian jihad)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: I'll Be That Girl
Rating: R
Warnings: Trans angst, voyeurism, self-harm, disturbing imagery, steamy scenes
Characters/pairings: MtF!Stephen(/OC), Jon, Charlene, Sweetness

Summary: Another orphaned prompt from [livejournal.com profile] lgbtfest: 1082. Punditslash, Character!Stephen Colbert, Stephen's been obsessed with wooing his cousin Charlene for years. What no one knew was that he's more interested in becoming her than he is in dating her.

Title is from the BNL song. Also, this one was supposed to be depressing (the statistics for trans kids are horrific), but it sprang a happy ending on me.

( Womanhood is supposed to be a mystical quality reserved for teachers and mothers and the Virgin Mary, and now all of a sudden Charlene — the bossy cousin who always loses to Stephen at checkers, for crying out loud! — is walking into class with curved red lips and a sashay in her step! )

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